The word “networking” may bring to mind thoughts of busy bars with rapid fire business card exchanges, insincere glad handing, and constant elevator pitching. I observed some of this at Babson last week. That was the disappointing part.

What some folks miss is that networking is a means to an end, not an end in itself. That end is building and sustaining relationships with people. When you think about networking, think about creating authentic and honest relationships. By focusing on how you can help others to succeed and prosper, you contribute to their success as well as your own. But first things first: you have to meet people of similar minds and similar business interests who will be good connections. That's where the networking comes in.

Doc Rivers, coach of the Boston Celtics, introduced the team last year to the concept of ubuntu. Derived from the African Bantu language, the word ubuntu roughly translates as “I am what I am because of what we are together.” Whether you are a member of a sports team, a community group, or a business—the concept of ubuntu applies. It is a humanistic philosophy in which we achieve our potential through others by being unselfish, generous, and trustworthy.

The authentic relationship-based approach to networking is one that even the most introverted professional services practitioner can adopt and feel good about. Ubuntu.

Importance of Relationships

Referrals top the list of how buyers find professional services providers. For our upcoming 2009-2010 How Clients Buy study (to be released in December 2008) we asked 231 buyers of professional services how they initially identify potential service providers. Their top two answers, surprise surprise, were referrals:

• Referrals from colleagues—79 of buyers are somewhat or very likely to find service providers this way
• Referrals from other service providers—75% of buyers are somewhat or very likely to find service providers this way

Through building and sustaining relationships you are able to increase the likelihood of generating these valuable referrals. Keep your relationships strong with clients and you'll generate referrals and repeat business. Networking becomes a part of the process because it's often the first step in creating these important relationships.

If networking is so critical, why do so many people avoid doing it? Many professional service providers simply fail to understand what networking is or the benefits it brings. We like the American Heritage Dictionary definition:

Network (verb): To interact or engage in informal communication with others for mutual assistance or support. 

Key to this definition is the concept of mutual benefit. (Extra credit: look up jita kyoei.) Use this as your touchstone to remain focused on the positive and effective elements of networking. I observed networking with mutual benefit in mind at Babson as I overheard someone helping another person deal with a sticky problem without sounding self-interested and with an offer of a follow-up discussion.

If you think networking is mostly about collecting business cards, reeling in favors, and meeting lots of people you’ll be disappointed with the results. Networking in its simplest form is about relationships. And relationships are about giving, not about getting. The more you give, the more you get in return.

Keep in mind, networking is about:

• Building relationships before you need them—laying the groundwork to produce good results.
• Building relationships with people you can help and who can also help you—it’s as much about what you give as it is about what you get.
• Teaching people what you need from them, and what they can expect to get from you in return—in other words, keeping the lines of communication open both ways.
• Trusting that if you put energy into your relationships you will receive something in return—which means not keeping a rigid scorecard.

Networking is not about:

• Something you do to someone.
• Going to conferences and collecting a lot of business cards.
• Manipulating people to get them to work with you.