There was this one member, Mr. MacTavish (name changed to protect the guilty), who would come in seething about his round of golf. He was a former club champion and somewhere around a 2 handicap. He used to throw his clubs at us to clean them as he complained to his friends about that shot he missed on the 17th. "If I got up and down from the bunker I would have had a good round. Damn lip on the bunker made me go from par to double bogey. Grrrrr…."

The man might have scored under par on 17 of 18 holes, but he seemed about as happy as my dog at bath time because he missed a shot. (Of course, regardless of his mood, he didn't tip. The MacTavish...not the dog.)

Then there was Dr. Vontzalides (actual name used to praise the praiseworthy). He'd invariably come back from a round of golf in a good mood. "Did you see that shot I had on the 11th? Never knocked it so stiff from 175 yards before in my life." Of course Dr. Vontzalides was a terrible golfer — constant golf lessons notwithstanding — and might have scored 120 on the round over and above all his mulligans. And he always had 2 bucks for the kid.

Last week I was speaking with a professional at a major accounting firm. After nearly a decade in the profession, she is just now beginning to get started with business development and revenue generation. I told her the Dr. Vontzalides story for two reasons:

1. She was beating herself up for everything she tried that didn't seem to work.
   
2. She was only playing one hole at a time.

Right now her ability to succeed in business development is about as good as Dr. Vontzalides' ability to succeed on the course. She's new at it. She's going to have a lot of misses. Unlike accounting, where many accountants get virtually everything "right" every day, business development is fraught with dead ends and lost deals. It's just how it goes, and she needed to stop taking it so personally.

If she played 18 holes, new at this as she is, she'd knock it stiff to the pin from 175 here and there. However, she was only playing 1 hole at a time. I suggested to her, instead of making 2 phone calls over a 2-day period, make 20 and send 20 emails. Then join the board of a group she's already involved with and plan an event, and contact 20 associations with a proposal for a speech at an upcoming event. Send 5 lunch invitations to business contacts she already has.

If she adds more activity, she'll give herself more chances of succeeding while, at the same time, improve her skills with all the practice.

Then she can celebrate when fortune favors her with success, and forget about all the shots that didn't pan out (yet).

And don't forget to tip the kid washing your clubs.